Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
