There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
