He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
