Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
