ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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