I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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