Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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