So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
