he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
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Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize