Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
