um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Congratulations! We have a period
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