i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?