Having a random hookup so left but love u
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
