we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
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You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
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Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.