someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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