Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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