Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
