Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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