He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
