She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
