you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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