1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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