Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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