If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
