I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize