My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
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It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
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I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i think i just lost a toe
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
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