I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize