I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
