Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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