Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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