We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize