i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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