just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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