so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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