Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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