ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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