Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Im part way to drunk.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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