So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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