yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
