Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.

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(510): View more from California

just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?

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(602): View more from Arizona

Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.

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(518): View more from New York

You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.

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(216): View more from Ohio

So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls

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