Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
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Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
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He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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