This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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