it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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