Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
vagina is talking i cant
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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