Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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