I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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