i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
