I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You may now shotgun with the bride
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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