I am in a vortex of obligation.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
