quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
