She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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