discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
