Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
