The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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