I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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