i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
